Cereal

I never really got an abundance of exciting cereal when I was younger. When we bought cereal, most of the titles had the word “cardboard” in them. I would’ve been fine with that, but the companies often tried desperately to come up with names to make their product sound cool. I’m sorry, but you cannot cloak tasteless cereal by a mere “cool” name. Titles like “Bland Flakes”, and “Corn Extravaganza” enter my mind. They never came with a toy either; at most there was a recipe on the inside of the box that you could cut out and with it, make other disgusting healthy foods. Gross cereal in the morning is bad enough; I do not need to discover these little morsels in my corn beef hash for supper.

I find now that I’m older, and away at college, my parents have been venturing out into the wonderful world of sugared cereal and buy brands with actual taste. When I come home for breaks I open the cupboard to discover a gold mine of brand name cereals…and they’re all saying the same thing in unison… “eat me!” So I listen; after all, how often does your cereal talk to you? No, Rice Krispies do not count! As I eat, I can’t help but say the slogans out loud as I cram my face with the delicious sugared wheat and corn of all shapes and sizes. I feel foolish uttering such catch phrases as, “Gotta have my Pops”, or “They’re grreeat!” Although, I do feel a new sense of freedom to say these fun little sentences as a result of me actually eating what they’re promoting. I couldn’t do that before with the other cereals; what was I supposed to say? “They’re…. brown,” or “Gotta have those things that look like dead Band-Aids floating in my soy milk.” It doesn’t have the same ring to it does it? So friends, if you ever see me many years from now, old, insane, out of my nursing home, wearing no clothes, eating a bowl of delicious cereal and mumbling old commercials to myself; don’t try to understand, just get me another bowl of Corn Pops.

Sincerely apologetic that I just gave you that mental picture,

Brad